The biggest mistake that you could possibly make is to confront
your spouse before you have done an investigation. In no way
should you let your spouse know that you are suspicious. He/she is
already being secretive and hiding the truth from you. If you tip them off it will
make it harder to find the truth.
If you ask them straight out they will deny it absolutely, and if
you really think about it, they donít have a choice. If they are
not cheating on you, they have to deny it. If they are cheating on
you, but they donít want your relationship to end, they will deny
it because it will either kill the relationship or badly damage it
- something they donít want.
If they are cheating on you and they plan on leaving, our
experience tells us that they will lie to you until the very last
moment for one of two reasons, the person they want to be with is
not 110% committed to be with them indefinitely or they feel that
they cannot get divorced due to monetary concerns or a religious
In short, there is almost no opportunity for the truth to come out
on itís own and if it does, the timing is completely controlled by
your unfaithful spouse.
The bottom line is that if he/she knows that you are onto them
they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks, making
it even more difficult for you to find out the truth.