Here are some of the signs of a spouse that may be
These behaviors are only indicators of a cheating spouse
are not absolutes! If your spouse has one or two of these
behaviors, and there is a legitimate reason and a mutual
(such as you two talk about it and agree to try to lose
they’ve gone a little obsessive about it), these signs do NOT
prove infidelity. But when you observe several, or maybe
MOST, of these behaviors, your marriage may be in trouble!
Again, let me reiterate that these behaviors are only indicators
of an affair.
The Classic Clue:
When you see lipstick on your husband’s shirt or strange hairs
their clothing or in the car.
Sign 1–Gut Instinct:
The telltale sign of a cheating spouse?
Having to ask that question in the first place.
Your cheating husband or wife stops
confiding in you and seeking advice from you.
Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you
that something is not right.
You find intimate apparel or other
gift-type items that are gifts for someone else and have not
been given to you.
Sign 2–Behavior That Is
Their Usual Character:
When your partner shows up without
wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame
excuses as to why. This also goes for jewelry you might have
purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when
go out when usually they wear it at all time.
When they break their established
at work and home for no apparent or logical reason; erratic
When your mate becomes suddenly
and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their
thoughts are obviously elsewhere.
When they appears distant, show a lack
interest, or develop an unexplained aloofness that wasn’t
When their behavior just doesn’t add
When your wife sleeps with her purse by
the bed, or your husband sneaks out of the house.
When your spouse suddenly starts
completely ignoring you and not listening to what you are
saying -OR- when they suddenly begin to treat you extremely
nicely…more so than usual.
When they encourage you to have a
life and go places out of town, and it seems like they’re
trying to get you “out of the house.”
When your husband or wife begins to
intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in
the past, this is something they would not have done.
Sign 3–Birth Control:
When you find birth-control pills in
medicine cabinet, and you’ve had a vasectomy -OR-
When you find condoms in the car or in
his pockets, and you are on the pill.
When he or she leaves the house in the
morning smelling like their usual fragrance and returns in
evening smelling like something else.
When they arrive home and head straight
into the shower or bath, and they work an office job.
When your spouse’s clothes smell of an
unfamiliar perfume or after-shave used by the opposite sex
When he or she has worn the same
fragrance for years, and suddenly they are wearing something
new and wearing MUCH more than usual.
Sign 5–Uncomfortable Around You:
When your mutual friends start acting
strangely toward you, because they either know about the
cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible
spouse you are.
When your spouse’s co-workers are
uncomfortable in your presence, because either they know
the afair or have heard horror stories to justify it.
When your spouse seems less comfortable
around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.
When your spouse avoids social events
with you, as if they want to cover up that they are with
Sign 6–Electronic Clues: Email clues~
When your spouse sets up a new e-mail
account and doesn’t tell you about it.
When your spouse spends all their time
the email, checking their email, or fooling with email
When your husband or wife suddenly
deletes all emails from the email account (and it’s not just
clean up) and in the past they used to let them accumulate.
When they delete an email the minute it
comes in, and then delete the trash to make sure you don’t
Cell phone clues~
When she/he buys a cell phone and doesn’t
let you know about it.
When your husband or wife suddenly
deletes all messages from the voicemail where as they used
When they suddenly delete all caller
from the phone so you can’t see them.
When she/he sets up a separate cell phone
account that is billed to the office.
When you aren’t allowed to ever look at
or use their cell phone, and they go to great lenghts to
certain their cell is not answered by you.
When your spouse is secretive about
cell phone and it is on their person 24/7, and they are on
talking or texting that whole time.
When they receive bizarre text messages
from friends you never realised knew–in other words having
‘pretend’ names in their phone that are really the OP.
When they stay up to “work” or “play a
game” on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive
usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.
When your spouse will not allow you
access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the
computer when you walk into the room.
When they may password protect their
laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes.
When she or he warily guards access to
their chatrooms, chat logs, games, Facebook page, or other
When your spouse has unusual sites
showing in the “browser history” (such as
or “ashleymadison”), or erases their history after each
Just Different at Home:
When your spouse raises hypothetical
questions such as, “Do you think it’s possible to love more
than one person at a time?”
When they have a sudden desire to be
helpful with the laundry (and they never have before) and
like they’re trying to find or hide something.
When he/she shows a sudden interest in
different type of music that they really disliked before.
When your spouse loses attention in the
activities in the home and seems forgetful, distracted or
they don’t care.
When he/she has a definite change in
attitude towards everyone in the home…including the
When you notice that your partner loses
their ability and desire to show the children the attention
they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the
house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house
repairs, etc. They might turn this around on you at the same
time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the
When they are always tired or
a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.
When they sleep on the sofa some of the
When you two don’t go to bed together,
and they tell you not to wait up when you have always done
When your spouse suddenly asks about
schedule more often than usual–wanting to know where you’ll
When they talk to you they treat you
abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm.
Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in
an attempt to justify their affair.
When your spouse is exceedingly
and sometimes mocking you.
When your spouse becomes “accusatory,”
asking if you are being true to him/her, usually out of
When they begin to speak more and more
harshly to you, or are more sarcastic. Sometimes this is
an attempt to justify their cheating…or to give them an
to storm out of the room/house.
When you notice that they are reluctant
to kiss you or accept your affection and/or they criticize
for showing attention.
When your spouse ignores or criticizes
your loving behavior and thoughtful ways. Example : “Why are
you so luvy duvy? I’m just not like that.”
Sign 8–Lots and Lots of Changes:
When she/he joins the gym and begins a
rigorous workout program and “hated” exercise before.
When your spouse buys new, sexy
and you never see it.
When they have a sudden preoccupation
with their appearance.
Her: When she gets spiffed up and
provocatively to “go grocery shopping” or to “get her hair
done.” She may also show up with a sudden change of hair
style. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant,
and dresses up more than usual to “go out with his buddies”
to “go fishing.”
When your spouse begin to make sudden
excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in
clothing style (for example, from business professional to
When they show a sudden interest in a
different type of music that they always hated before.
Sign 9–Telephone Mannerisms That
When your spouse receives “mysterious”
phone calls that don’t seem to make sense–and when you ask
called, they say, “No one”, “Wrong number”, or “Why do you
When YOU get an increasing number of
hang-ups or “wrong numbers” when you pick up the phone
especially if the caller hangs up after hearing your voice
doesn’t speak. Generally when a person dials a “wrong”
they will at least ask, “Is Fred there?” before hanging up.
When your phone bills show unexplained
toll or long distance charges. Often you’ll find one phone
number listed excessively.
When she/he Hurriedly picks up the phone
answer it before you do.
When they leave the room to talk on the
When your spouse Whispers while on the
When she/he deletes the information (name
and phone number) from “caller ID”.
When they behave differently or end the
telephone call abruptly when you enter the room…or appear to
hang up quickly.
When your spouse tells you to get ahold
of him or her at a different telephone number (they don’t
you calling while they’re with the OP).
Sign 10–Automobile Related Signs
That Something is Up:
When the passenger’s seat is adjusted
differently than you had left it.
When your spouse takes the child seat
and/or kid’s toys out of the car for no particular reason.
When you find suspicious items in the
like phone numbers, receipts, lipstick, condoms or strange
hairs in the vehicle.
When they begin to keep a change of
clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount
clothes changes at the gym.
When the car has unexplainable mileage
a lack of additional mileage. For example, if your husband
states that he went out of town yet the odometer indicates
that only a distance of 25 miles had been driven.
if he says that he’s only been to the office that day, yet
their odometer shows many more miles had been driven, this
too, may be a significant matter.
When s/he “goes to the store for
groceries” or “goes to get some gas” or “goes to the bank”
task that should take just a few minutes) and comes home 5
When you notice increased gas purchases
that are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car.
Sign 11–Paper Trails of a
When you find credit card receipts for
gifts you didn’t receive -OR- your credit card bills
gifts you didn’t receive (such as florist or jewelry).
When you find the credit card receipts
showing purchases from places unknown to you or that seem
suspect -OR- when your credit card bill itemizes odd places.
When you see an increase in ATM
withdrawals on your bank statement, especially those from
When you find ATM receipts bearing a
time/date stamp from a city you don’t recognize. [Cheating
costs money! To play you must pay.]
When they begin to volunteer to go to
post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens
up a new P.O. box perhaps without even telling you.
When unusual phone numbers appear on
When the duration and time of the calls
on the phone bill appear excessive.
When they are secretive about their
phone bill or they start to pay it themselves.
When you notice business travel or
deductions on their expense account for travel or other
expenses of which you were not aware.
Sign 12–Sex Tip-offs That
When she/he is no longer interested in
or s/he makes excuses for its infrequency.
When your spouse starts to request
or other erotic sexual activity (behavior) that you’ve never
done before, including watching porn.
When they show a “new talent” in the
bedroom (that they might have learned from the individual
whom they’ve been cheating).
When she/he appears reluctant to kiss
or show affection toward you.
When your spouse continues giving poor
excuses for why they’re not in the mood to make love.
When they have unexplained scratches or
bruises on his or her neck or back.
When she/he suddenly wants more sex, more
Sign 13–Work-related Signs That
May Be Cheating:
When she/he works longer hours, more
When they supposedly work a lot of
overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.
When they change their established
routine with no apparent reason.
When she/he begins discouraging you from
calling him or her at work.
When your spouse is often “unavailable”
when you try to call him or her at work.
When they returns calls long after you
leave a message for him or her.
When she/he prefers to attend work
functions (or any events) alone and tries to discourage you
When your spouse takes more trips for
business reasons and even refuses to let you drive him or
to the airport.
When you find out by accident he or she
took vacation day or personal time off from work – but
supposedly worked on those days.
Your spouse is away from home, either
nights or on trips, more than previously.
When the amount of money being
into your checking account drops off.
When they are late home from work and
always have an excuse ready.
When she/he claims to be stressed with
problems when questioned about their odd behaviour.
Sign 14–Things you’ll hear:
1. “We are just friends.”